A Soldier’s Family Page 9
What do I do?
He stared into Javier’s eyes. Windows of a grieving child trying to be a man but having no father figure to steer him to manly things stared back at him.
Desperate. Beseeching. Imploring. Trusting. Begging.
Celia may be overprotective yet she was his mother. Manny recognized the extreme adventurous spirit within Javier. He also recognized Celia smothering it. Which wouldn’t work with a titanium-willed, militantly determined kid like Javier. He’d just wait until he was on his own, or do what he was doing now—sneak around behind her back.
The fact that he confided in Manny had to be handled with extreme care and wisdom. Help. I know You see all this and know what will be best in the long run.
He slanted a stern look at Javier. “Fine. But only for a season. If you don’t tell your mother within four months that you’ve BASE jumped, I will. Until that time, I want you to promise me you won’t do it again. Not once.” He also hoped Javier would tell her he worked with Joseph’s murderer’s son before she discovered it on her own. And knowing Celia’s bulldog determination, she would discover it.
“Dude, four months? That seems like forever.”
“Believe me, if anyone knows that, Javier, I do. If I can handle giving it up that long, so can you. I believe in you and your ability to make sound decisions and use better judgment.”
Something contrite flickered in Javier’s eyes, like Manny’s words pierced deep and meant a lot.
“If you confess to your mother before then, and she agrees to let you learn under safe circumstances, we’ll get one of the other guys on my team to take you tandem diving.”
The grin overtaking Javier’s mouth brought Manny peace. He’d deal with the aftermath of Celia as that storm blew to shore.
More like hurricane.
“Dude, could you ask Mom to come back and pick me up? They’re drinking after closing, with no designated driver. I’m scared to ride in a car with someone wasted at the wheel.”
Manny grinned. He knew Javier had it in him to make good choices. “What time you get off?”
“I’ll call.”
“I’m proud of you, Javier.”
To Manny’s surprise, tears welled in Javier’s eyes. Turning his face away, he wiped them with his sleeve much the way Celia had in the car. “Long time since anyone’s said that to me. Except Mom. A guy, I mean. Well, a guy I look up to as much as—” He swallowed convulsively.
Leaning his weight on the crutch, Manny squeezed Javier’s forearm. “Your dad would be proud of you and for the decisions you’re capable of making.”
Javier swallowed hard and nodded, and seemed unable to talk for a moment. When he did, his eyes turned torturous. “I really want to be a good kid. He’d want that. I love my mom but she never lets me do anything fun.” Javier thumbed his chest. “My kind of fun. Dad would. I miss him so bad. Especially when Mom cries. She only does over two things. If she’s worried about me or when she misses Dad. I don’t want to make her sadder. I just want her to let me be me. Dad would if he—” Javier shook his head. “Now, he can’t.”
“Pull on reserves of what he taught you, Javier. I know it’s in there.” Manny pressed fingers to Javier’s chest. “If it’s any consolation, I know peer pressure and what it’s like to want to do right when the tug to do wrong is so much stronger. You’re a good kid. Sometimes even good kids make wrong choices. You have to try for better ones next time. It’s a new day.”
Javier drew in a shuddering breath. “Thanks.” One word, but it carried profound sincerity and gratitude. “I try to remember everything Dad said to me. Only I feel bad because I can’t sometimes. I do remember he told me once that God’s mercy is new every day. I hope that’s true, ’cause I need it.” Javier released an embarrassed grin.
Manny nodded. “I do, too. We’ll see you at closing. Your boss is starting to eye you, and I have a tire to change.”
Two police officers, one with a metal box-style clipboard, passed Manny on the way to the door. He stopped to talk to them briefly before returning to Celia.
Since Manny didn’t want innocent drivers to end up in the path of a weaving bullet with wheels, he also mentioned the officers might want to observe the cars at closing. He’d been in town long enough to figure out Celia had the entire police force behind her since her husband had been revered by all. They looked out for her.
He’d found that out firsthand the hard way the night he’d followed her to see where she went at dusk. He’d felt like a heel when he’d discovered she push-mowed the entire Refuge Cemetery, stopping to sit at one grave in particular. The way she wiped tears and took extra care brushing dirt off the headstone and pulling anything that resembled a weed, he didn’t have to wonder whose grave it was.
Feeling like a major snoop, Manny had retreated back through the forest and had been met by two officers who’d interrogated the daylights out of him as to why he’d followed Celia. He’d convinced them he had her best interest at heart and wanted to see if her night job was something she could give up if he helped her. It took major negotiating for the cops not to tell Celia. Manny had given them his credentials and promised not to follow her again.
The police went back to speak with the boys about the vandalism to Celia’s vehicle. It relieved Manny to know Javier wouldn’t be in the car. At least not tonight. He couldn’t live with another human’s blood on his hands.
Hopefully that was also justification enough to withhold information from Celia about the BASE jumping until Javier could be the one to tell her the truth. Manny felt strongly that if he hadn’t made that promise to Javier, the kid would have kept jumping, needlessly risking his life.
Manny would rather have Javier alive and Celia angry, than Javier dead and Celia devastated.
He just hoped that when it finally came out, she’d see things his way.
Chapter Ten
“I’m going to throttle him,” Celia muttered into the phone to Amber as pans cluttered beneath the cabinet. “I told Javier I didn’t think it was a good idea for Manny to come work out here. Next thing I know, the big oaf is in my basement putting his grubby paws on Joseph’s barbells five evenings a week.” Not to mention she now had a new tire and paint job to pay for since the police hadn’t been able to prove who’d vandalized her car.
“Simply explain that Javier didn’t obtain your permission and ask Manny to leave. He’ll understand.”
“What, and look as psychotic about all this as I actually am? No, Amb. I just need to vent.” Celia set a skillet on the burner and twisted the knob to medium.
“Sure you don’t need us to bring anything tonight?”
“Nope. Dinner’s on. Just bring yourselves.” Celia sighed. “The thing is Javier’s grades have come up since he’s been hanging out with Manny. I overheard Manny express to Javier how important a good education is. He only agreed to work out with Javier if his homework was completed to satisfaction first.”
“What are you afraid of, Celia?”
Amber knew her too well. “Lots of things. I’m scared Manny will influence Javier to want to be a PJ.”
“I don’t think he’d do that on purpose.”
“I know, but Javier practically worships the guy. Manny’s all I hear about.” Celia pattered across the floor, stepped over a sleeping Psych and peeked down the basement steps. She walked far from the open basement door and lowered her voice. “I confess, he’s all I think about lately, too. Amber, I’m so scared of falling for him. He just seems like a new person from that night at the wedding.”
Amber snickered. “Of course, he is. He’s had a genuine conversion.”
“So you say. Could be an act. My dad pulled it off for fifteen years. Besides, whether or not he’s a Christian is a moot point. He’s military and military guys get shot at.”
“Oh, Celia. You have to commit your fear to God.”
“Well, God gives me wisdom. I’ve been widowed once by a bullet. I can’t go through it again.”
“I’m not. But the everyday fear isn’t something I want to live with. Anyway, he’s aloof towards me when he’s here so even if I were interested, I still don’t think he respects me.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.”
“He really has changed, Celia.” Shuffling sounded on the other end. “Listen, Joel just got home from the DZ, so we’ll see you in an hour.”
Celia hung up, debating whether to invite Manny to stay for dinner. She hated the idea of the rest of them all sitting here enjoying each other’s company and him down the street alone in his room at the Montgomery home. She pulled out another plate and turned when sneakered footfalls bounded up the stairs.
“Mom, can I grab a couple of bottled waters?” Javier’s breath came in strained gasps.
Celia suddenly remembered Manny had asked her to take him grocery shopping. She hated her tendency toward forgetfulness. She started for the fridge.
Javier held up a palm. “I’ll get ’em.”
She circled Javier, eyeing him intently. “Who are you, and what have you done with my son?”
Javier bent to get the water and gave her a peculiar look.
Celia pulled an oven mitt on. “You’re being polite, and helpful. I noticed you took out the trash this morning. What’s up with that?”
“I’m not trying to bribe you for anything, if that’s what you mean.” Javier shot her a grin that reminded her so much of her late husband’s. For once the thought of Joseph didn’t make her sad to the point of sick inside. Reflective, yes, but not incapacitated with missing him.
Javier fiddled with the bottles, not seeming to notice the missing safety tabs on the lids. That, or not caring. She couldn’t afford to buy bottled water every time they ran out so she refilled ones she had with tap water until they became too dented. Her water had tested fine this year. She had a stash of lids in case the garbage disposal ate one, which happened often.
Heat blasted out when Celia opened the oven door. She leaned her torso aside, reaching her arms in. “You’re keeping your guest waiting downstairs. Need something else?”
Javier shifted foot to foot. “Um, I wondered if maybe Manny could stay for dinner.”
Celia tried not to burn herself. She couldn’t quite keep her brows from rising. “Well, hmm. Since I appreciate you asking permission instead of inviting him without clearance first, I guess that’s doable.”
“I know. Sorry ’bout that. I didn’t think you’d mind him coming to work out. It’s kind of nice having a father figure around the house again.”
Tears sprang to Celia’s eyes and her feet couldn’t take her to Javier fast enough. She draped her arms around his shoulders. How tall he’d grown! When had that happened? “I know, son. Just, please, don’t get too attached to him, okay?”
Javier laughed. “You act like he’s a puppy that followed me home or something.”
Celia pulled back from the hug. “It’s just, something could happen to him.”
“Something could happen to any of us at any moment. You might need to see a counselor, Mom.” Javier turned and bounded down the basement steps, leaving her mind to wonder when her son passed her on the wisdom lap.
Thirty minutes later Celia stood at the stove, frying tortillas when Manny and Javier’s footsteps creaked up the basement stairs. She brushed her hair aside, hoping Manny wouldn’t notice she hadn’t had a chance to dress for dinner yet.
Manny and his crutches came up first, followed by a chattering Javier. Manny met Celia’s gaze and she nearly got lost in their midnight depths. His smile widened as he held her gaze several beats.
All Celia could think as she stared into the intense eyes of this man was how deeply thankful she suddenly was for his presence in her son’s life. It had been too long since she’d heard Javier laugh that much and that hard with anyone. She tried to convey thanks with a smile and eyes slid Javier’s way then back.
As if understanding, Manny offered her a short nod and one corner of his mouth lifted as he returned his full attention to Javier. The sight of her son talking with a man in her kitchen caused memories of happier days to rush her like a flash flood. She turned her back to them, searching her mind furiously for what she’d been in the midst of before testosterone had invaded her kitchen.
“Excuse me a minute,” Manny said to Javier before ambling over to where she stood at the stove, burning the sopapilla, which she just realized had bubbled in the grease the entire time they’d stepped from the basement.
The man proved to be quite a distraction with a mountain of muscles straining the sleeves of a white T-shirt, wet with sweat. Dark blue shorts that showed off brown, muscled legs. Celia averted her gaze as he approached.
“Mmm. Smells good.” Manny bumped her elbow with his then said lower, “You okay?”
“I’m okay.” Not a lie. She wasn’t fabulous by any means. “Anyway, thanks. It’s my mom’s recipe. About the only worthwhile thing I ever learned from her.”
“I meant that you smell good. I like the scent you wear.”
As if the grease crackling near her face didn’t flush her cheeks enough.
She put space between their elbows. “Behave yourself. Having fun down there?”
He grinned at Javier. “Yeah. That boy’s wearing me out.”
She snorted. “I highly doubt that.” She flicked a glance at his massive arms, then at Javier’s more spindly ones.
Manny leaned on one crutch and rubbed his palm along the back of his neck. “Javier mentioned something about staying for dinner. I wanted to be sure that was kosher with you.”
Celia shot him a cheeky grin and added another triangle of sopapilla dough to the grease. Bubbles plopped and sizzling sounds rose from the pan. “Yes. I planned on inviting you myself, but he beat me to the draw. Joel, Amber and Bradley are coming, too.”
“Anything I can do to help?” Manny looked around the kitchen. Celia did, too, her eyes coming to rest on Javier who was actually setting the table.
She did a double take.
Setting the table? Getting him to do that was like pulling teeth. The change in her son for the better since Manny had been coming around hit Celia like a brick. Tears sprang from nowhere so furious and so fast she didn’t have time to wipe them before Manny saw. He started toward her then stopped himself.
Profound disappointment hit her that he held back.
This was all too confusing.
“Celia?”
“Thanks. You’ve already done so much.” She cast a meaningful glance at Javier. Celia sensed Manny speaking her name carried more question in it than his previous query to help. She found courage to meet his penetrating gaze.
Sincerity twinkled in midnight eyes. “He’s a good kid, Celia.” Empathy coated his words like honey dripping on a deep-fried sopapilla, making it all the sweeter.
She nodded, started to speak, but emotion had cinched her voice tight and all she could manage was a squeak. She pulled a crisp, dripping pastry puff triangle from the grease and went to town chopping onions.
After a few swallows, she tried again. “I know. He misses his dad so much.” Tears ran down Celia’s face. She choked back a sob and the onion knife clattered to the counter. She coughed to cover it. “Aargh. Onions.”
“Yeah. They get to me, too.” Manny didn’t take his eyes off her. If the intense compassion in his face was any indication, he knew good and well her trouble originated from more than onions.
Joel and Amber had invited her over for dinner at their place tonight because they knew today marked the five-year anniversary of Joseph’s shooting death. She’d asked if they minded coming to her place instead because cooking would keep her too busy to break down in tears all day. She’d allotted herself plenty last night. Had exceeded her quota, in fact.
Javier had heard her weeping, though she’d tried to keep it muffled, and had come in and knelt by her
bed. Together they’d gone through her wedding album. Then Celia had put it away.
Her throat constricted when Javier started humming in the dining room. Joseph always hummed before dinner. Always. Her hands trembled uncontrollably. Celia blinked back a fresh torrent of tears and cast an apologetic look to Manny. “I’m sorry. I’m not usually this emotional. I—”
He placed a warm, steadying hand on the crook of her elbow. “Javier told me. Today’s a hard day. Your husband deserves to be remembered, Celia. Don’t cheat yourself out of the need to grieve.” He increased the pressure of his fingers on her arm and his voice flowed like warm water. Just above a whisper, soothing, calming, grounding her in peace.
Celia couldn’t speak, but the depth of understanding in his eyes and words touched her. She nodded and croaked out a thanks.
He surprised her by bracing one arm on the counter and draping his other lightly around her shoulder, pulling her in for a hug. A quick hug that she wished lasted longer.
Javier cast furtive glances their way. A curious glow entered his eyes.
Celia studied him, glad Javier didn’t seem upset or angry by Manny’s proximity to her. Yet it unnerved her all the same when Javier’s mouth broke out into a grin and a look of hope and wonder crossed his features before he turned to finish his current chore. She didn’t want him to wish she and Manny would get together. She couldn’t dash his hopes against the rocks.
But inside, a deeper part of her ached for Manny to do that hug thing again. The need hit her swift and hard, and nearly knocked her off her feet. She forgot to breathe again.
Feelings she thought long dead rushed through her, renewing the need for companionship and closeness and someone to share the rest of her life with. She’d already had that. She should be satisfied.