Steadfast Soldier Page 20
“Chance, as much as I wish I could help them, I can’t. That would make me have to go back there in my mind, to that painful place, and I just can’t.” But her gaze veered toward two of the girls who’d stepped outside for some air.
Her heart wanted to reach out, grab and hug them.
Maybe this church was different. Maybe she could trust. Engage herself in it. But that would mean putting herself out there in a place of risk to be hurt again.
“Chance, I-I’m trying. But I just, I don’t know.”
He dropped his head. “Chloe, I’ll give it up for you. If that’s what you want, I won’t work with youth. I won’t be ordained.” He looked pained to say it.
Guilt slashed through her, especially when she saw teen faces pressed in the window, faces of souls lost and needing an adult’s love, guidance and acceptance so badly.
“And my PJ team, we’re not on missions often. We have training ops every other weekend. Missions rarely last longer than two weeks. I’ll be home more than I’m gone. You could sit with me when I work out. Most of what I do, you could tag along.” Now that got her attention.
“I could watch you work out?” Her cheeks tinged. “Now that sounds appealing.”
He laughed. “At least I know we have attraction going for us. That’s important.”
“But it’s not all.”
“We have more going for us, Chloe. When two people love each other, they’re willing to work the roadblocks out of their relationships.”
“Who said anything about love?”
He bent close. “You don’t have to. I can read you like a book.”
How could he know she loved him? She wasn’t even certain herself until last night.
The very nature of his PJ creed meant he’d put his career before personal duties or desires.
Did that mean family?
And would he apply his PJ creed to his pastoring?
“Do you really love me enough not to be a pastor?”
His smile faded, and he brushed a tender gaze down her face. “I love you too much to let you get away for any reason.”
“You make me sound like the big one that you can’t get a hook into.”
“Hey, if it were only as easy as setting a hook in you and reeling you in, I’d be a happy man.”
She laughed and rubbed her arms in effort to ignore the new drove of teens pressing their faces in the window.
“You’re a tough nut to crack, Chloe Callett. But my love for you is tougher. And as much as I’d love to stand out here and kiss you all morning, I’m set to speak. It’s too late to have someone cover for me. I need to get in there.” His face was almost apologetic as he bent and kissed her cheek, then slipped from her presence and toward the entrance to the youth room.
He turned once and looked at her with an expression that left no doubt he loved her.
And he didn’t seem upset that she hadn’t said it back.
But she did. She did love him back. So much it ached to watch him walk away.
Steadfast love. Long-suffering love.
She didn’t want this magnificent man to ever know what unrequited love feels like.
She’d lived that in her childhood.
In that moment she knew that Chance’s love for her, his treatment of her and their relationship, was way different than her father’s treatment. And she knew now without a doubt that she loved him back.
She also knew Chance wanted her to go inside the church with him but didn’t want to push. Something inside her now wanted to love him and stand beside him anywhere as long as they had years together. The feeling intensified, and she realized she was even willing to give up her own dreams for the gift of this man’s love. She loved her plans for animal-assisted therapy, yet how much more important were people than animals?
Her gaze veered toward the glass, where youth romped around the room.
How many of them felt ignored, abandoned, unloved?
And how many of them would be rescued from despair, loneliness, unworthiness and the depressing fate of a dead-end life when they learned the truth through Chance? The truth that they were never absent from God’s sight, never far from His good thoughts toward them, never out from underneath the umbrella of His love and always, no matter how they felt, tucked safely in the Refuge of his wings.
How many of them would grow up not knowing it if Chance chose not to pursue the youth pastor position?
Chloe couldn’t do that to them. She couldn’t let that happen.
She knew he was meant to do this.
She knew she was meant to help him.
Those children were meant to know their Father loved them.
That had always been Chloe’s refuge in her storm of loneliness. The concept of Daddy God. That her earthly father was a temporary model, and her father in Heaven was her real dad. There was never a doubt that He loved her.
If she had that much to give, that small slice of knowledge of God’s sustaining love and affection toward her, she must share it with the teen girls whose hearts so desperately cried out for a father’s affection.
Unlike God, every man’s love had a breaking point.
She suddenly didn’t want Chance to go another second without knowing how she felt.
Unlike her dad, she would not withhold her affection.
Chloe rushed across the asphalt.
Chance paused at the door and turned in time to catch her when she flung herself into his arms, out of sight of the teens. Rowan, who’d had his hand on Chance’s shoulder, smiled and stepped back. Chloe blushed when she realized she’d interrupted Rowan praying privately for Chance.
“I’m sorry.” She started to step away.
Chance pulled her back and grinned at Rowan.
Rowan waved. “We were just wrapping up.”
Chloe clung to Chance’s neck and hugged as tightly as she could. Patient but looking a little confused, Chance patted her back and held her several long moments before leaning his head back. “What’s this all about, Chloe?”
With him peering down at her, she wished she could give him that kiss now. She grinned at the thought. In due time. “I love you too, you big doofus.”
His arms tightened around her, as if he were holding on for dear life. Before she knew what hit her, his lips were brushing hers in a tender kiss. His eyes were tentative as he pulled away. “Does that hurt?”
“I’m not sure. Try it again, and I’ll pay more attention this time,” she murmured while wrapping her hand around the back of his neck and pulling him in for another sweet kiss.
Gentle. The man was everything she could hope for. And the kiss was even better than the last.
She wished she could kiss him all day, but then she’d pay for it later and she was almost out of ibuprofin and, well, they were standing in front of a room with impressionable youth who could bop out the door any moment.
“God will be with us, Chloe. Okay?”
She nodded into his chest and relished the feeling of loving and being loved. Of knowing she didn’t have to do a single thing to gain his attention except exist. That Chance loved her for her and she didn’t have to strive an ounce to earn his affection.
Through his time, his patience, his honorable hugs and sweetly murmured words, he had assured and reassured her of his devotion and steadfast love.
He gave it freely, and she drank it in like a woman whose soul had spent its life dying of thirst.
She was thirsty no more.
Chapter Twenty
“Hey, guys. I’d like you to meet someone special. This is Chloe.” Chance tugged her toward the gangly group of teens once they returned inside a couple of kisses later.
Teens lined every inch of the room. Popular kids, misfits and those on the fringe. Chloe was sure there were brainiacs and some who were slower. Some were bookish, a few bored. Still others were tattooed or pierced. There were athletes and preps, punks and emo. Even a few goths and retro rockers.
Yet one common thing resided
in their young eyes when Chance waltzed her around the room.
Respect. It gleamed from every teen to Chance as he greeted them with handshakes and affectionate high fives on his way to the camouflage-patterned podium.
The need for acceptance trailed it. No matter what walk of life these kids came from or what color their skin was or what side of the tracks their families originated from, they all wanted and needed love, a sense of belonging and unconditional acceptance.
It only took her three minutes to figure out they had found that in Chance as well as Jesus, and that Chance, like Jesus, loved these kids with his whole being.
After Chance delivered a dynamic message, the girls clustered around Chloe like petals to the center of a flower. A quick head count told her there were far more girls than boys and not near enough help. Even with the PJs’ wives helping out, not all of the girls would be able to connect one-on-one or open up individually.
All at once, Chloe knew her calling was to come alongside Chance and partner with him in reaching out to these youth. She would be forced to step boldly past her fears and out of the clutches of her painful childhood.
With every passing minute she spent in the youth room for Sunday school, her compassion grew and pulsed through her until she felt bulldozed by it, but in a good way.
“I want you to go through with it, Chance,” she said firmly as the group filed from the Sunday school room to the auditorium for the church service.
He faced her and raised his eyebrows.
“The ordination. These kids need you. Need us.”
Their eyes connected. Held.
“You’re sure about this?” He inclined his head.
She grinned. “As sure as you were that God would somehow work things out so you could do both—be with me and work with them too, despite the fact that you said you wouldn’t if I didn’t want you to.”
He laughed. “How did you know I prayed that?”
“Because He answered your prayer by reassuring me.” She steered him toward the stage. “Let’s go. Rowan, and your destiny in planting hope in the hearts of these kids regarding their futures, are both eagerly awaiting you.”
Chloe took a front-row seat.
Vince Reardon and a lovely pixie-haired woman took the seats beside her. “Hi, Chloe. This is my wife, Val.”
Val sat next to Chloe and shook her hand. “Pleased to finally meet you. I feel like I know you from Chance’s stories of you.”
“Don’t believe a word of them.” Chloe laughed and hoped she didn’t sound as giddy as she felt over the fact that Chance talked about her often to his friends.
“Rowan mentioned he thought your rescued animals would be good therapy for teens. Especially those in counseling for abuse,” Val said when Vince joined Chance.
“Are there many in the group?”
Val paused. “More than you’d ever guess.”
Suddenly, Chloe caught glimpses of her and Chance’s gifts merging into one common path.
That moment, he turned and caught her staring. His explosive grin rippled joy and elation through her.
And Chloe felt the peace that passes all understanding. Nope, she didn’t understand why Chance loved her so much, but she was sure glad he did.
“I don’t believe this.” Chloe unclenched her fists as she stood on the property she had planned to buy for the program. “It was just up for sale.”
Mallory, down for the weekend, eyed the land Chance had shown Chloe the day of their four-wheeler ride. “It would have been a perfect spot for our facilities too.”
Disappointment sliced through Chloe with each blink toward the Sold sign. “Let’s go. Sorry to have dragged you all the way out here for nothing.”
“It’s not for nothing, Chloe. I needed to get away after breaking up with Bert. And I have more news.”
Chloe’s heart fluttered at Mallory’s grin. “Tell me.”
“I might be able to finish school down here. My credits will transfer. We just have to talk our supers into letting us open the Refuge clinic first.”
Elation filled Chloe at the prospect.
“Let’s head back. Chance is expecting you, and this is one time you don’t want to be late.” Mallory bit her lip and headed toward Chloe’s car, parked near the road.
“You should go skydiving with us, Mal. My first time won’t be the same without you.”
“Trust me, you’ll want to make this jump alone.”
Chloe shrugged and pulled onto the road headed toward the DZ where Chance had scheduled a tandem skydive with her.
When Chloe arrived at the DZ, Mallory walked inside after instructing Chloe to wait here. Chance met Chloe at the car with a gift box adorned in neon-green silk ribbon.
“For me?”
He nodded and grinned as she tugged the end of the ribbon. Exiting, she slid the lid off and pulled the material out. “A skydiving outfit in neon-green!” She clutched it to herself and hugged him.
He held her to him and didn’t seem to want to let go. His Adam’s apple bobbed above her head. She tilted back. “You seem nervous. Is it because I’m skydiving with you?”
He grinned. “N-no. That’s not it.” He whistled, and she wondered why his stutter had resurfaced. If he wasn’t nervous, was he stressed about something?
Midnight barreled around the building. Chance made a command. Midnight walked up and nudged her palm as if to be petted.
“Open your hand,” Chance instructed.
Her heart pounded as she did so. Chance nodded at Midnight, and the dog dropped an envelope in her hand.
Her fingers shook as she opened it. “A deed…to that land.” Chloe lifted her eyes to Chance but could hardly see him past the moisture that suddenly filled them. She rushed him, hugging with all her might. “You are the one who bought it?”
“With help from my team. We all pitched in.”
“But why would you do something so extravagant?”
“Because I love you and I’ll do whatever’s necessary to show you that I aim to back your dreams with my whole heart. And even my wallet. And my friends’ wallets, for that matter.” He grinned.
“Oh, Chance. I don’t know what to say other than thanks, and that seems too miniscule.” She blinked tears back and hugged him again.
“There’s more.” He nodded to the other envelope.
She tugged out a notecard that read, “Look on Midnight’s collar.”
Chloe knelt and reached for it. A filmy neon-green satchel hung near his tags. It held another tag.
Wait. Something sparkled when a sunbeam caught it.
She leaned in.
It was no tag.
She grasped it. “A ring?”
He grinned.
She tried to open the satchel but her fingers quaked. “Oh! That looks suspiciously like a diamond.”
He chuckled and unhooked the little bag. Mallory returned and took the dog then disappeared quickly. Chance tugged the string and pulled out the prettiest ring she’d ever set eyes on. “I’m afraid to ask what this is because I’m scared it’s not.”
He took her hand. “Go change. I’ll meet you at the plane.”
Chloe dressed faster than ever before. She wondered where Mallory went. She’d know what was going on. Whether this was just a promise ring or the real thing. Her heart pounded at the possibilities.
The small aircraft taxied to the pick-up point. Chance led her out to meet it. “You remember the positioning and landing techniques?”
“Yep. I paid attention to my very cute teacher.” Goggled, she grinned and hurried her steps toward the plane. She wasn’t one ounce scared.
Once they were airborne and circling the area between the B&B and the DZ, Chloe saw it immediately.
The plane circled the B&B three times.
On the roof, waving like a flag of surrender in white were the words, Marry Me, Chloe?
She rested her head back on strong shoulders. “You really mean this?”
“I do.”
“You do?”
“I do!”
Chance grinned. “Then remember that phrase.”
Her insides exploded with joy. She regarded his face with wonder, then eyed the ground and the vast expanse of sky the same way.
He checked his altimeter. “Ready?”
“Never have I been more ready for anything.”
“That’s my girl. Okay, sweetness, it’s time. Let’s go.”
They moved toward the passageway as one, knowing this was just the beginning of a thrill-filled life where seasons and dreams were uncertain, but Chloe finally certain that with God’s help they’d weather the path together.
She knew that Chance’s purchasing that property had broken any remaining doubt in her mind about his commitment to helping her program.
What was important to her had become important to him. She thought of the teens and realized the same was true for her.
“Yes, Chance! A million times over.”
He grinned. “You’re sure?”
“Definitely! I want to marry you, Chance, and I’ll even have babies as soon as you’re ready.”
He laughed. “What if I want to get started on our honeymoon?”
Despite the cold air at high altitude, she blushed.
His face gleamed with that lovable lopsided grin. “We’ll make a great team as parents. I can’t wait to see you grow into the mom I know you’re meant to be.”
Chance nodded to the pilot, then guided them into the true-blue arms of a familiar but unchartered sky.
Blasting wind caught then carried them in its measureless embrace.
“Whaaaaaaaa!” Chloe wobbled beneath him. She felt the raw panic of first-time free fall sheer through her.
Calm replaced it as Chance reached for her arms and guided them alongside his, reminding her of their proper place and safe position.
She relaxed and let her arms rest against his in free-fall mode.
Exhilarating.
At the right time, he tugged their parachute cord. It plumed open. They slowed and the howling ceased.