Steadfast Soldier Read online

  “Are you sure?” Her words swooped out, breathless.

  “Never more.”

  “I—”

  “Shhh,” he whispered and pressed a petal to her lips. “I don’t want you to say it back until you mean it.”

  “But—”

  “After you’ve had a good night’s sleep. I’d doubt otherwise.”

  “A man like you loves me.” She stared at him for several long moments. Like she couldn’t totally believe this was real. Her shoulders went droopy and her eyelids lowered. Chance directed her head to the pillow.

  She was sawing logs before he got the covers tucked around her. The girl was downright exhausted.

  She’d been awake seventy-two hours straight in an effort to convince Steele and Bunyan to give her program a chance, at least on a trial basis.

  Enough was enough. Chance would see to it they saw things her way. He cared about Chloe, and everything she cared about had become important to him.

  He’d gone with her to take Midnight to visit terminally ill kids as well as those in foster care due to abuse. He’d seen firsthand how much difference the dog could make. He saw how much joy the children and teens gave the dog too. A dog who’d grown up in horrific circumstances like themselves.

  Chloe told him Midnight had been a bait dog for people arrested for dog fighting.

  Chloe’s program meant more animals would be rescued and more people would be uplifted by their loyalty and furry affection.

  Chance was convinced God put dogs on the earth partly to demonstrate His steadfast, unconditional love.

  The kind of love Chloe had needed from her father but never received. But if she said yes, he’d see to it the rest of her life was different. She would learn every day that a man’s love for her could be trusted.

  “I love you, sweetness,” he whispered and stepped back to let her sleep.

  I love you, sweetness.

  What seemed a split second later, Chloe jolted awake. Bolted up in bed. “Did you mean it?”

  Chance cracked a smile.

  Facing her, he leaned back on the far end of her mom’s guest bed and rested his body on his elbows. He stretched his long legs out in a slow recline as lazy and dizzying as the grin sliding across his face.

  He stared, relaxed, unblinking, into her eyes and twirled the rose slowly between his fingers.

  The man was mesmerizing.

  According to the trademark lopsided grin creeping farther across his face, he knew it too.

  Suddenly, she could see images of them married, and of him grinning lopsided in a dimly lit nursery while rocking a downy-haired baby, one with dual dimples and shy eyes and wrapped in a cartoon puppy bunting with neon-green trim.

  She shook her head. “Staying up all night is for the birds.” But for the life of her she couldn’t stop staring at him and didn’t care if he caught her gawking.

  He leaned up and placed the soft rose between her eyes. “Get some sleep, Chloe.” He ran the burgundy-petaled flower achingly slowly down her nose, following her facial curves until the flower fell softly against her lips. “See you in the morning, sweetness.”

  She breathed deeply of the scent of roses.

  And of his love for the first time.

  He removed the rose and replaced it with his lips, and she couldn’t be sure which was softer.

  “Sweet dreams.”

  Boy, would they ever be.

  Chapter Nineteen

  A wet nose bumped the back of her hand. Repeatedly. Chloe awakened. After the fatigue wore off enough to bring her bone-weary brain back to reality, panic kicked in.

  She blinked, having no idea where she was.

  Oh, right. Mom’s house.

  “Dog, you’re acting psycho.” Probably from missing her and his cuddle toys, which were back at the B&B.

  Stress pressed her skull in a vice grip when she thought of Steele’s unreasonable action over her missing the important meeting. Chloe swung her feet over the side.

  The stuffed dog tumbled off the pillow beside her head.

  And her heart remembered. Giddiness consumed her when Chance’s declaration of love drifted across her soul.

  It melted off most of the stress, but not all.

  Chloe peered at her watch and gasped. She’d been due to meet legal counsel since she was going over city hall’s belligerent balding heads.

  Chance knocked, then walked in with food. His steps paused. “What’s wrong?”

  “I missed two vital meetings. One with Refuge City Hall, and one with my attorneys. Because our animal-assisted therapy program is considered a charity, our presence in court is mandatory. We go before the judge to present our case in a matter of days. We were to meet with attorneys today to prepare. I’m going to miss my deadline to get the zoning and tax paperwork in.” She nibbled her lip.

  He grinned.

  She sat up. “What?”

  “Mallory’s in Refuge. She’s at the meeting with the attorneys and CPA. Your mom’s a proxy for you.”

  She blew a breath of relief. “What else?”

  “There’s no need to fret about the Refuge meeting either. You needed rest. I went on your behalf.” He held an envelope in his hands.

  A big, bulky envelope. He slipped a set of papers from it and unfolded them in front of her face.

  Her eyes focused on the first sentence. “Congratulations…” She read a few more words and realized this letter meant her plans would go forth and that Refuge City Council had finally voted to approve her business.

  “How did you pull this off?” She hugged—no, nearly strangled—him.

  “Calm down and I’ll tell you.” Chance peeled her arms from around his neck so he could see her face. “Mallory came down and gave me names of people your therapy animals have helped.”

  “She came because of my ankle sprain?”

  He hesitated before answering. “Not totally. I’ll let her share the rest with you.”

  “Okay.” She hoped Mallory was okay. A horrible sinking sensation hit Chloe at the thought that Mallory had come to tell her she’d decided to step out of the program. That would mean Chloe’s imminent return to Chicago.

  “Ashleigh Petrowski traced the names Mallory provided, which scored us their numbers. I called the list and most let me record their testimonies of how much your program had helped them. Stallings pulled Steele into a back room and let him know that he had evidence Steele sleeps on the job. Steele buckled.”

  “What about Bunyan?”

  “He was moved by the stories. He wants to meet Midnight and push funding your way.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “I don’t know what to say. I’m quite frankly speechless.”

  And starting to realize more and more that he wouldn’t hinder or dampen but help and champion her dreams.

  “They’ve rescheduled the meeting for final decision, but I’ll go with you in case Steele badgers you. That meeting will hopefully get your zoning in order, which will allow you to move forward with concrete plans.”

  “Thank you, Chance.”

  “My team’s planning a big fundraising event to help get your therapy program off the ground here in Refuge. We’re planning to host a festival.”

  She gasped. “You’re for real?”

  He nodded.

  “Why are you doing all this for me?”

  “I told you. I’m not settling for anything less than forever with you, Chloe. That means your program is my program. I won’t ever keep you from your dreams, because your dreams will be my dreams too.” He bent to kiss her on the forehead, but then pressed his forehead to hers and trailed a finger from her jawline to her chin, then lifted her face to his. “And as soon as you’re better, I aim to claim that kiss that got away.”

  Her eyes widened. This man would not give up.

  Thanks be to God.

  “You need to call Mallory.” Concern compressed Chance’s lips.

  Instantly, Chloe knew. “Something happened. Ash found something on Ber
t. Evidence of infidelity.”

  Chance chewed his lip and nodded. “I’ve said too much. Call her. She needs you.” Chance stepped out as she dialed.

  Chloe had a heart-to-heart with Mal who poured her hurt and anger out, then hung up because she had a rescue dispatch. Chance came back into the room. “Mal okay?”

  “He bashed her heart, but at least her dreams will live.”

  He eyed her funny then. Apprehensively.

  “Joel beeped in while I was talking to Mal. He’s apparently joined the cupid posse.”

  Chance laughed. “What makes you say that?”

  “He called to check on me, then launched into counsel mode.”

  “Sounds like Joel.” Chance chuckled. “What’d he say?”

  “Told me how you work with new recruits. Used the stories to convince me you’d come alongside me.”

  “That’s true, Chloe.”

  “That’s what we’re about,” she whispered, hoping to convince herself yet scared to believe and act on it.

  He took her hand and brushed his finger along the length of her ring finger.

  This time it was far from covert.

  It left her breathless, as did the thought of a future with him and apprehension over his determination to pastor.

  “That’s what we’ll always be about if you give us a chance. A good relationship is like rescue rope. It provides security and binds the other person in strength where they’re weak. Brings them up when they can’t lift themselves. It partners with gentle pulls. It never snaps apart the other’s dreams.”

  He grasped her hand and grew as serious as she’d ever seen him. “Chloe?” He knelt!

  For whatever reason, her eyes shot toward Dad’s photo on the shelf behind Chance. Ironically, his kneeling put it in her direct line of sight.

  Dad was standing in front of his church building.

  Not once did he have his picture taken with Chloe. Not once. Panic and doubt swirled through and clutched her heart like a hand meant to strangle.

  “Don’t.” Her heart thundered in her chest.

  Please don’t ask me for forever when I’m not sure I can offer tomorrow.

  Yet another part of her heart, the one that used to be weak but was getting stronger, fell into frenzy to know.

  What was he on the verge of asking?

  What would she say?

  Right now it was better left unsaid.

  Just like holding back her I love you until she knew it could last for forever.

  She just needed to be sure, sure, sure. Because she didn’t want to string him along or let fear change her mind. This horrible fear that stalked her.

  She studied him. His tender smile.

  I’m not sure, but I think I love him.

  He twisted to see what she stared at. His eyes softened. “Chloe, I may have an affinity for the church the same as your father, but I am not the same kind of man your father was. You have to choose to believe me.”

  “I want to,” she whispered, trying very hard to tear her gaze off the photo and fix it on Jesus and Chance.

  Don’t let anything come along to change my mind.

  Enter his world, she would. She was ready.

  Chance started to step from the podium Sunday when Nolan rushed him like a suicide bomber.

  “Dude, Chloe was here.”

  “What do you mean was? Church hasn’t started yet.”

  “No, but she caught word about the announcement regarding you being officially ordained as a part-time youth pastor pending completed course work.”

  Chance scrubbed his hands over his face and left them there. “This isn’t good.” The first day she visits church, and it happens to be the day Rowan leaked official word.

  Joel rapidly approached. “Chance, Chloe’s outside. She fled from the church. Amber intercepted her. They’re talking now.”

  Celia rushed up in an arm-flailing flurry. “Chance, Chloe was here. She left in tears. Go after her.”

  Now they were coming in twos. Mina and Sarah sped up. “Chloe came. She’s very upset and—”

  Chance nodded wryly. “I gathered that. Which way did she—”

  Mina pointed in a direction. Celia shoved him there.

  Chance found Rowan. “Dude, don’t make the announcement yet. I need to talk to Chloe. I haven’t told her today’s the day.”

  Chance darted out the door and found Chloe and Amber beside the building. When Chloe saw him, she appeared to want to freeze and flee at the same time.

  On approach, Chance nodded for Amber to go inside.

  Praying, she mouthed as she passed, squeezing Chloe’s shoulders in a sisterly hug.

  Chance stepped close and braced his hands on Chloe’s shoulders. She tensed, and his throat knotted like white pine.

  “Chloe?”

  “My whole life flashed in front of me in there, Chance. Memories of Mom cooking Dad Sunday dinner but he never showed up. Not even late. You can’t imagine the hard work, then heartache on her face when week after week he didn’t return for the dinners she cooked, even though he promised.”

  “Chloe, I’m sorry.”

  “He had to stay late and pray with people, he said. For women who felt neglected by their husbands. Do you know what it’s like to live gut-wrenchingly lonely within a marriage, Chance?” Anger flashed in her eyes.

  “No. You know I’ve never been married.”

  “Neither have I, but I saw my mom live that scenario day after day and I don’t want to endure it.”

  He swallowed. Grasped her hands. “Chloe, you won’t.”

  She glared at the building again. “Do you know how hard it was for me to show up here today? Coming to church feels like facing my father’s longtime mistress.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh.

  He rubbed circular, calming motions into her thumbs.

  “I vowed that I’d never marry someone whose career would cause me to set aside my dreams. And I especially promised myself I’d never marry a pastor. Then I get here and find out you’ll be ordained today?”

  “Chloe, how your dad went about things wasn’t right. A man’s family ought to be first. I’m not your dad. I’m nothing like that.”

  Chloe laughed but without humor. “The absolute last thing I want to be is a pastor’s wife. When did you plan to tell me, Chance? I had to come and hear it from strangers.”

  “I’m sorry you found out that way. What did you hear?”

  “When Rowan met me, the first thing he said was he thinks you’ll make a great part-time youth pastor, starting today. That was my first clue. So like an idiot I blurted, “Pastor? Today?”

  Chance stayed silent, knowing she needed to vent it out of her system. She knew he was getting ordained but probably assumed she’d have time to get used to the idea.

  “The church waived its policy and offered immediate honorary pastoral ordination since we’re already mentoring in the community. I only recently found out.”

  “Rowan realized I hadn’t come here to show my support of you. I showed up unknowing. He apologized and said he’s surprised you didn’t tell me. Guess what, Chance? I’m surprised too.”

  “I apologize. But in my mind, ordination is only a formality. I didn’t think about it because titles don’t mean anything to me. You know I work with youth. But the association over this church requires anyone in that level of leadership to go through the motions of ordination.”

  “How long have you known?”

  “Two days.”

  Her face instantly softened. “What does it entail? A lot of time?”

  “Not really. I plan to do a satellite course here at the church on Tuesdays with Rowan in order to be ordained as a youth minister.”

  Though his tone was reassuring, the minister word rushed through her like a verbal tornado, whirling her thoughts. Chloe fought to stay nonjudgmental. On the other hand, rebellious thoughts ran around her brain at will.

  Not only was Chance volunteering heavily, three days a week so far, he wa
s going to become a pastor. He told her PJs retire early. So he’d go from being a PJ to a pastor?

  A sinking feeling hit her in the heart and gut. Slowly but surely he was adding things to the timetable of his day that would slowly snuff out time with her.

  As if sensing the epic battle raging in her head, Chance stepped closer and strengthened his grip. “I already volunteer. Rowan joined the National Guard. He just needs a couple of backups to substitute for him once a month.”

  “How long?”

  “The course takes less than a year.”

  “What if he gets deployed? What then?”

  “Then the church hires another full-time youth pastor, and soldiers overseas will benefit from Rowan’s influence.”

  Something pecked at her not to make more of this than it was. But she still felt betrayed. Horribly betrayed.

  “I planned this before I met you, Chloe. This isn’t some new thing I pulled out of my ear. I just didn’t think to mention it to you with everything in the last two days. In fact, we forgot it was today until Rowan reminded us.”

  “Us?”

  “Yeah. Vince is taking the course with me. He and I will alternate subbing for Rowan to ease the burden on both of us. Come in for the meeting, Chloe. See what it’s about.”

  Thoughts still flew around like arrows, and anger still quivered her insides…to the point her fingers trembled.

  Though fear-driven emotions flailed against it, her good sense told her to grant him the benefit of the doubt. Still, fear resided.

  Should she trust her emotions? Or trust Chance?

  Because right now, it couldn’t be both.

  Please help me see, Jesus. I want to believe the truth. And I want to be free of the pain of my past.

  She sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, Chance. I’m fairly independent and certainly no codependent clingy vine. But how can I be sure this won’t be one more thing pulling you away from me emotionally or using up our time?”

  “Because I told you we’re about partnership. You could share it with me.”

  “I’m not qualified to work with youth.”

  “Really? You could have fooled me. I watch you interact with teens at the PJ cookouts. There are a lot of lonely girls who feel neglected and abandoned by their fathers in that group. They need to connect with someone who’s been there.”