A Soldier’s Family Page 15

  A wry look took over her face. “Ri-ight. Mr. Survive-In-Arctic-Temperatures-While-You-Pluck-People-From-Glaciers.” She stepped aside.

  He stepped in.

  Her eyes brightened as she stared at his hands. “You’re off crutches!”

  He grinned, leaning on his cane. “I weaned myself off the twins last night. I may need one by this evening, but I figure I can go a couple hours without them today.”

  Her eyebrows pinched together. “Sure that’s sanctioned by your doctor?”

  “You were there. He said let pain be my guide.”

  “This coming from the most stubborn man I’ve ever met and who refused pain meds post-op for the most major surgery I’ve ever heard of, not to mention a guy who broke every bone in his butt.”

  He laughed. “One. I broke one bone there.”

  She clicked her tongue. “Still, I know it had to hurt.”

  Like you wouldn’t believe. He shrugged. “It’s just a tailbone.”

  “Just? Oh, brother. Do you think you deserve to relentlessly suffer, or what?”

  He realized she wasn’t kidding. “What?”

  “When are you going to stop punishing yourself for your son’s death?”

  His insides quivered and his fists clenched. If she was trying to make him mad enough to leave so she could get out of going to church, it wasn’t going to work. “You know nothing about it.” Maybe he should loosen his teeth.

  “Don’t I? Because, for the first two years I felt responsible for Joseph’s death. If God blew you in my path for no other reason than to teach you this, Manny, you have to believe me. God holds the key to life and death.”

  “You saying Seth wouldn’t have lived even if we were watching him?”

  “No, I am not. Truth is, I don’t know. But neither do you. I feel bad for how I came across before, and I’m trying to make amends. You don’t have to atone for your wrongdoing, Manny. Jesus already did.”

  “You’ve been avoiding me this week.”

  “You want to know why?”

  He nodded.

  “Because I’m a coward. Every time I see you, your limp, it reminds me of my husband’s death. It reminds me how vulnerable you are as a human, though in my eyes you’re superhuman. It reminds me that you could get killed in the line of duty, too.”

  That made it sound as if she cared for him. Hope swelled in his chest. “Joseph died doing what he loved, Celia. Javier even told me that. If I were to die, I’d want to die saving someone else. Or in the case of my accident, training someone else to risk their lives so others may live.”

  “You trying to influence my son to be a PJ?”

  “Not on purpose. I want him to fulfill his God-given destiny.” He shifted his stance. “I see an inner strength in him that I don’t see in some of the strongest warriors. The military could use someone like him. He’s bilingual and intelligent, and fearless and strong. He’s loyal, athletic, focused and driven. He thinks fast on his feet, and a plethora of other things that would make a good soldier.”

  “He’s also the only family I have left, Manny.” She moved close, touching his arm. Warmth spread to his shoulder. “Please, please don’t steer him to do something that will rip him from my arms and put him in the cold earth. He will always be my little boy. Even thirty years from now. I can’t stand the thought of him driving himself into the earth like a stake. I’ve read about skydiving accidents when the chutes don’t open.”

  His hand closed over hers. “I can’t promise you that won’t happen. I can’t even promise you I won’t encourage him to join the military if that’s what his deepest desire is.”

  Her breath caught. “Is it? Do you know that for certain?”

  “Ask him.”

  “If he tells me it is, then I can’t promise you will ever be allowed to see him again.” Celia jerked her hand away, brushed past him and snatched her cloak off the hook.

  Manny pivoted with the cane. “Where are you going?”

  “Not to church with you, that’s for sure. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a client to meet. I’m working to prepay Javier’s college tuition, where he’ll train to have a desk job.”

  Manny snickered.

  She whirled.

  “Even if you manage to pressure him into college, he’ll sign up for law enforcement or something of that nature, you watch. Besides, I encouraged him to go to college, too.”

  “Whatever. I don’t have time for this. I can’t afford to miss work and go to church. And I certainly can’t afford to lose my son.”

  “Your priorities are skewed. Plus, I think that’s a cop-out.”

  Her arms did that mutant Judo chop thing. “Yeah, well, did I ask what you thought?”

  Manny stood his ground. He could use the cane in self-defense if he had to, but she was going to hear him out even if he lost teeth over it. “No, but just for the record, where Javier’s concerned, you’re being stubborn and unrealistic. It’s going to do him more harm than good. More than anything, he wants a place to belong. Where he finds it is up to you.”

  Manny turned and got into his truck with barely a limp, leaving Celia to wonder when he’d been cleared to drive and when he’d had his truck, shiny black like his eyes, shipped here.

  “Mom.”

  Celia spun. Javier stood at the top of the stairs. His jaw clenched, giving his face the hard planes of a man more than a boy. How could he be growing up so fast?

  She sighed. “How much did you hear, Javier?”

  “Enough. Mom, I love you and don’t want to hurt you. But you saved for college for nothing. Every penny you worked for? Keep it. I told you for years I’m not going. I hate school.”

  “Javier, college is different. You get to—”

  “I’m enlisting the day after I graduate high school.”

  Her throat tried to close of its own volition. “Enlisting?” Surely he meant enrolling, right?

  “Yes, enlisting. In the military. I’ve planned this since my freshman year, before I met Manny, so don’t even think about screeching his head off.” He looked annoyed and amused at the same time.

  “Javier, do you honestly think I’m being stubborn and unrealistic?”

  He covered his mouth but the snicker escaped anyway.

  “What?” Celia planted her hands on her hips, trying to look serious. Kind of hard with her son’s goofy expression.

  “At least I don’t take after no stranger.”

  “Javier, do you use bad English just to annoy me?”

  “You bet.” He bounded down the stairs, slung his arm around her shoulder and drew her near. “Come on. We’re going to pull around town, then we’re meeting Manny for a marshmallow roast after church. He needs some cheering up. The team got deployed on a mission and he didn’t get to go.”

  “Oh!” Celia felt sadness and relief all in one surge.

  This would be what life with Manny might be like.

  Could she handle it?

  “Let’s go, Javier. I love shopping and marshmallows.”

  Javier’s phone rang. He looked at the number and escaped to the kitchen. As hard as she strained to hear, she couldn’t because he spoke in hushed tones. When he came back into the room, concern ruled his expression.

  “Amber and Bradley are visiting her grandparents in St. Louis. So it’ll just be you and Manny after he gets out of church.” Javier eyed her.

  “You mean, and you?”

  Javier shrugged and averted his gaze. “I thought about going for a walk instead.”

  “It’s thirty degrees out.”

  “I need to drop by a friend’s. Besides, I like to walk in the cold.”

  “Right. You whine if you have to walk to the bus stop a block away when it’s sixty out.”

  “I’m changing.”

  That he was. She sighed.

  The conspiratorial look in his eyes made her leery. What did her son have up that dragon-flame sleeve of his?

  That he didn’t tell her the friend’s name or t
he nature of the phone call that changed his plans tempted Celia to worry.

  Trust him.

  From where the words came, she couldn’t be sure. Manny had said them to her, but sometimes God spoke through those gentle thoughts, too. Either way, she had a choice.

  “I trust you, Javier. Just be safe.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  She couldn’t have shown up at a worse time.

  Through a crack in the brocade drapes, Manny watched Celia trudge across Joel’s yard.

  She looked like a Latina Red Riding Hood donned in a long red cape. A fuzzy crimson hood pulled over her head lent her a childish appeal. Rings of black curls spilled beneath it.

  Snow dusted her rosy cheeks. She blinked white flakes off long eyelashes. Shiny black boots carried her across a white blanket of sparkling snow. Gloved hands carried a small wooden basket by the handle. She studied the ground as she walked.

  He wondered if he could pretend not to be home. Today was not a good day. Loneliness consumed him as did boredom. Not to mention he’d battled one of the heaviest spiritual assaults on his mind since turning his life over to Christ. His self-control had been a casualty.

  Visiting Joel and Amber’s church had helped, but that was only one day a week, two if he got up the nerve to go on Wednesdays.

  Manny wished Celia would go, and bring Javier. He understood why she had a hard time putting herself out there. He was certain Refuge Community Church’s family would provide stability and support. Manny thought it odd she wouldn’t try for Javier’s sake, but he guessed she had hang-ups just as he did.

  His was guilt but he was working on that. He’d gotten prayer for it Sunday. The partial release he experienced afterward made him all the more determined to encourage Celia and Javier to seek prayer. He’d prayed hard all week for God to move her heart to want to come to church.

  And now she stood in the yard, looking up at the two-story structure. As if half expecting Frankenstein to answer the door, trepidation lined her features.

  Why?

  He knew instinctually how hard it was to maintain a steady, stable walk without a good church home. Obviously, Celia’s childhood church experience hadn’t been like his. Well, here she was, knocking on the door.

  Manny ambled to it, using his cane. He held the door open a stitch and peered out. “Yes?”

  She shivered on the steps. “Javier doesn’t happen to be here, does he?”

  Manny shook his head. “No, why?”

  “He’s running late. I thought maybe he stopped by here.” She glanced up and down the street. For a second he thought she’d turn to go, but she faced him again. “May I come in?”

  “For a minute. I have things to do.” Such as eat popcorn and blitz out in front of the TV. And be bored out of my mind and feel sorry for myself because my team’s on a mission and I’m not. Not to mention beat myself up because I failed miserably at being a Christian today.

  Okay, so maybe he could use some company. Too much time spent with himself obviously drove him nutty.

  Manny opened the door.

  She breezed past, her perfume awakening his senses.

  He pulled in a steady breath, then swallowed. “Can I take your cloak?” He made no motion to do so, and tried to appear less than enthused so maybe she’d get the hint and hit the road.

  No such luck. She moved farther inside.

  He sighed and stretched an arm to help with her cloak.

  She stepped from his reach. “Got it, thanks.” She peeled the thing off and draped it on the wooden coat rack near the front door. The garment smelled of her.

  He moved away from it and folded his arms across his chest, trying to breathe as shallow as possible and survive.

  “Aren’t you gonna invite me to sit down? I had a long walk.” She flashed a cheeky grin.

  He refused to let it affect him or elicit a reaction, though it proved quite a challenge. Manny led the way to the family room. “Have a seat. I’ll make hot chocolate.”

  “And I’ll annoy you by helping.” Celia transferred the basket from the sofa table to the kitchen counter. “Speaking of hot chocolate, here’s a winter gift basket for you.”

  Suspicious, Manny eyed the basket. “What for?”

  She shrugged. “Just because.”

  He peeked inside. Peppermints and red-and-white-striped candy canes fenced rows of hot-cocoa packets that rested on a gold-and-green-striped towel. No marshmallows though. “Thanks.”

  Celia had two cups out and water on to boil by the time Manny closed the basket.

  “I usually make homemade but I get the feeling you’re not up for company. I’ll make the quickie kind while I say rude things to make you feel guilty, then get out of your hair.”

  He almost grinned.

  Sliding sounds permeated the air as she poured packets of dark powder into cups. She wiped her hands off with a towel and faced Manny. “Well?”

  “Well, what?”

  “Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m here?”

  He made a play of eyeing his watch, though the battery met its demise days ago. “Fine. I’ll humor you. Why are you here?”

  She extended a cup of hot cocoa toward him. “I want you to take my son skydiving. And I want to come to church with you.”

  Manny leaned forward. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me.” Since he never took the cup, she set it on the counter with a clunk. “Manny, this is really hard for me. You have no idea.” Her lips and hands trembled but her eyes and words remained steady and direct.

  “Wait. Wait.” Manny laughed. “Did you just say you want me to take Javier skydiving?”

  “Yes.” She paled. “Well, not by himself. I mean, can’t you strap him to you or some weird thing like Joel did to Amber on their first date?”

  Manny looped a thumb in his jeans’ pocket and grinned. “You mean, the one when she compromised his hearing because she did the shriek-’n-flail all the way down? That would be called a tandem jump.”

  “Yeah, that.”

  “And you want to come to church?” he asked, wanting to be certain his own hearing wasn’t in question.

  She nodded, looking everywhere but at him.

  Talk about double divine bombshells. Good ones, though. Profound thankfulness consumed him as his mind shuffled through her requests.

  God actually heard his prayers. And acted on them.

  It actually worked to change a human heart.

  Maybe Joel was right. Maybe Manny didn’t have to be experienced at prayer for it to work or for God to hear him.

  “Wow.” Manny thought he might need to sit down.

  She pushed her sweater sleeves up. “Just ‘wow’?”

  He crossed the ankle of his good leg over the injured one. “Celia, I do know how hard this is on you. I just want to be sure you’re not making these decisions out of haste.”

  Her arms took off again. “You better take me up on it before I change my mind.” Hands to hips now, she scowled at him in typical Celia style. Now, that was more like it.

  He grinned.

  How he’d missed the little fireball this week.

  “Well! Are you gonna do it or not?” It came through her mouth more as a demand than a question. And what a mouth. He wanted to kiss her and warm it up.

  Manny shook his head to clear the memory of how good and right she felt tucked in his arms.

  Today was definitely a bad day for her to be here. He’d been tempted in every way possible. Even watched a show he knew his eyes shouldn’t partake in. He’d been fighting off ultrasensual images all day for it, too.

  “Well?” She stomped. Snow dusted the wood floor in a perfect white oval around her boot. Small foot. He hadn’t realized that before, just how petite she was. The perfect size for him. The perfect challenge.

  He needed her fire. Life became too boring without her every-five-minute flare-ups. Where’d she been all his life? He determined to win her heart, right then and there.

  Peace
engulfed him instead of self-loathing and guilt and self-abasing thoughts that he didn’t deserve another family. Manny began to wonder if God may have sabotaged his parachute that day a few months ago. Something felt so right about this. So…he hated to put a religious term on it, but so…ordained. It fit. Like this was meant to be. Some might term it fate, but Manny now knew the hand that dealt it.

  Only he’d had it all wrong before. The hand was full of mercy and compassion and loving kindness. Not punishment and wrath and guilt and shame.

  Manny laughed. “There’s just something funny about this.”

  “What?” Her scowl deepened.

  So did his chuckle. “You coming in here and ordering me to take your son skydiving.”

  “Manny, I feel like such a failure. I’m here to confess I need help with my son. He was heading off the deep end before you came along. I’m more scared for him to fall back into that than where his admiration of you may lead. I see joy in him when you’re around. He’s even been reading his Bible, something he hasn’t done since his father died.” Her chin quivered. “I’m no good as a single mother. I—I think I may have ruined him.”

  Manny didn’t know what came over him. He only knew the fallen look on her face said more than words ever could. She felt like a failure as a parent, and he knew the torture of that feeling all too well.

  Before he thought better, he closed the space between them and pulled her into his arms. “It’s not your fault. He has choices.”

  She stiffened in his arms. “But I—”

  “No, Celia. Stop. Don’t blame yourself. I’ve lived a lifetime doing it.” He released the hug and set her at a safe distance. He wanted to show support and comfort. Let her know he would be here for her without making her feel like he was hitting on her. Even though today he was sorely tempted.

  She leaned back, grinning. “You’re a fine one to talk.”

  He loved the fire in her words. “I missed you something fierce this week.” Whoops. Had he meant to say that out loud?

  Her eyes rounded and her cheeks flushed. “You mean, Javier?”

  He pulled her close again, tucking her head beneath his chin. “Of course. But I missed you, too.” His chest and voice tightened.